Avon Caption Competition!

Here is a photo of myself being interviewed by Spanish TV (last May, hence the reference to FMD) after a complete imbecile had ignored several warnings and completely predictably had an accident on take off. Underneath are the excellent entries received for the caption competition run by the Avon magazine editor, Cathy Lawrence. I'm not actually pregnant - my gloves and baccy are in the top pocket of my flying suit, which is then rolled down inside itself.

Pregnant man in TV shocker!

  1. "Hey!...I'm just a puppet on a strrrring...." (Spain's rejected entry for the Eurovision Song Contest)
  2. "Rich had yet to notice that Sooty and Sweep had long since headed for the bar..."
  3. "You see, ...all I have to do is pull these strings to open my suit and 'WHAM!'...DIY thermals!" (Rich demonstrating the benefits of eating 6 tins of beans before going XC)
  4. " ... and if you're thinking, "If the pilot had been using the Constant Aspect Approach method, he wouldn't have been trashed on landing." you'd be quite right."
  5. "Interviewer from Style Police show: "What on earth possessed you to wear a pink hat with a red and blue suit?""
  6. "Rich tried desperately to stick to the subject of the crash earlier on in the day, but he was just itching to ask the cameraman how his cranial transmission attachment worked"
  7. "Hugo grinned, just waiting for the right time to pull a moony"
  8. "It was only five hours later that Rich realised the TV crew had actually slipped into a coma three minutes into his speech"
  9. Rich: "bla bla FMD bla bla crash bla bla"    Interviewer "If I shove this in his gob he might shut up!?"   Cameraman: "If I shove this up his arse....."
  10. "So Mr Schumacher, can you comment on the rumoured 15 million pound deal with airtopia.com ?"
  11. "Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be that geezer from Marillion, and if you don't ******* like it then **** off"
  12. "Pregnant man in TV shocker!"
  13. "... and I hung on to the tail of the Cessna until it landed."
  14. "The crane operator was fantastic with a hook knife."
  15. "As I pushed harder on the control bar I exited the loop safely 3m above your van."

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